“Ghost Rider ” (2007)
Film Review by Julia Dudnik-Stern

I’ve been a Nicolas Cage fan since the semi-obscure “Raising Arizona” (1987) and through the mid-90s, post-“Leaving Last Vegas” flurry of his action flicks (“Face/Off,” “The Rock,” “Con Air”). So it must be an accident—after all, I have yet to see “Adaptation”—that the last four Cage productions I’ve sat through ranged from uninspired to unwatchable.

“Matchstick Men” was cute-ish but unremarkable, “National Treasure” followed with stupidity, and “Lord of War” hovered between amusingly and ridiculously implausible, particularly since I am from the country so heavily referenced in this post-communism, weapons-trafficking melodrama that would make a TV afterschool special producer proud. But it is “Ghost Rider” that takes the prize of the worst-ever Cage movie—and I actually saw it at the drive-in, known to raise my ratings by at least a star due to the sheer novelty of it.

1. Nicolas Cage. 2. Eva Mendez and Nicolas Cage. Images courtesy of and copyright Sony Pictures Digital Inc.

“Ghost Rider” was much anticipated by an audience of fans, including Cage who had waited years to work on the adaptation of a comic book that inspired him to get a tattoo. Add in America’s capacity for hero-worship, and it would seem “Ghost Rider” couldn’t go wrong. Unfortunately, the movie started out by changing one of the underlying, character-establishing plot points, aptly pissing off even the most loyal of audiences right out of the gate.

Johnny is a motorcycle stunt boy duped by the Devil, who is using his more pretentious handle of Mephistopheles (Fonda). In an effort to save his father from cancer, Johnny sells his soul and is forced to leave behind everything he knows, including his beloved Roxanne. Fast-forward to present day, where Roxanne and Johnny have aged at varying rates: She to the early thirties of Mendez, he to needing a toupee to be able to pass as her love interest.

But a hair piece alone never stopped anyone from playing a boyfriend, and Cage forges on with remarkable restraint while holding a martini glass full of jelly beans. Now, Cage the Rider is working for Mephistopheles, trying to stop another overlording villain from… ah, who cares? Really, the plot is completely unworthy of summation. The bad guy monologues and dies in a Western-style shootout. Enough said.

The visual effects and related computer graphics could be described as outstanding, if the rest of it weren’t so painfully, infuriatingly bad. Seeing Sam Elliot and Peter Fonda for a few minutes each does not begin to make up for the absolute triteness of every single line they are forced to utter. Eva Mendez is beautiful and appropriately well-endowed for a comic book heroine, but too young and not sophisticated enough to be believable as a prime-time news anchor. Cage is wearing a toupee. There you have it.

As an aside, “Ghost Rider” does prove an unrelated theory: When a movie with a major star in it only scores 5.5 out of a possible 10 user-generated points on IMDB, it’s not worth it.